Learning not to care what others think of you is a part of growing up.
I’ve started following more 20 something Bloggers as I try to build my own blog, and they all offer the same advice: As long as you’re okay with who you are, what others think shouldn’t matter.
Key word here: SHOULDN’T
Because as much as I believe that, it’s an incredibly hard mantra to live by.
I’ve always struggled with accepting myself and I think that’s why I pay so much attention to what others think.
I take cues from those around me as to what type of person I am. And I know that is not healthy nor is it an accurate account of my identity.
When I approach a group of people I wonder what they’re thinking about me. When I hear hushed voices in a crowd I automatically assume they are talking about me. I have trouble speaking to large groups of people no matter how well I know the material, because my mind races with thoughts of what the audience thinks of me.
But this first year out of college has definitely been a turning point for me.
I’m starting to realize what matters to me, what I’m about, and who I am.
But to truly define yourself you must do it in a silo. Regardless of what anyone else thinks — how do you see yourself?
And remember your passions and what makes you you, isn’t simply about what you want to do with your life and your career goals.
What are your values? Your passions? Your dreams?
Values are the intangibles that mean the most to you. The things in life you can’t put a price on. Your passions might be causes that you care about, hobbies that make you feel good or even a career choice. Dreams are your aspirations. And whether they are rational or not — they show a lot about who you are and what defines you.
Sheryl Sandberg dares readers of Lean In to ask “What would you do if you were not afraid?”
But what would you do if you knew no one else was watching?